Loving

True story.

Arielle's Saturday work days are finally over. She finally has a weekend. She no longer has to get up early on Saturdays and drag herself to work. This has been a YEARS-long wait and it has JUST this weekend finally arrived...thus, it is Saturday morning and Arielle is sleeping at last.

At 8:00 am the house phone rings twice. Rick (who is downstairs and awake) grabs it.

Caller: "Rick? Is this Rick?"

Rick: "YES?!"

Caller: "This is the Association of Firefighters..."

Rick: "THANKS FOR WAKING UP MY WIFE, YOU F**KING ASSHOLE!!!!" He slams down the phone.

Sorry for the language... but like I said, true story. :-)

Inventive

There are few things in this world Rick hates more than Arielle's cell phone.

She gets a lot of calls and texts on a daily basis, but so as not to annoy her husband, while at home in the evenings, she keeps her phone on vibrate. In fact, she usually lets her phone vibrate away, just peeping at it from time to time and responding to only the most important of calls or texts.

Yet, even the sound of her phone vibrating annoys Rick. He not-so-lovingly calls it "the train" when it vrrrrrr vrrrrrr vrrrrrrrrs and shakes the side table.

Tonight, Rick threw a glance at her phone and said with disdain, "They should have a setting on your phone that when it's on silent and you get a call, it stops your heart. That way you know when you have a call."