Monday, September 2, 2013


Arielle and Rick are in the kitchen, discussing Juice, one of their cats.

Arielle (in her cat momma voice): "I'm sorry, Juice, I know you have issues. You need psychotherapy, but we can't afford it."

Rick: "That's right, Juice, we only have enough money for psychotherapy for your momma."

Sunday, August 18, 2013


Arielle (to Rick): "You would be a very poor social worker."

Rick (to Arielle): "You would be a very poor accountant."

Both laugh.

Saturday, April 20, 2013


True story.

Arielle's Saturday work days are finally over. She finally has a weekend. She no longer has to get up early on Saturdays and drag herself to work. This has been a YEARS-long wait and it has JUST this weekend finally arrived...thus, it is Saturday morning and Arielle is sleeping at last.

At 8:00 am the house phone rings twice. Rick (who is downstairs and awake) grabs it.

Caller: "Rick? Is this Rick?"

Rick: "YES?!"

Caller: "This is the Association of Firefighters..."

Rick: "THANKS FOR WAKING UP MY WIFE, YOU F**KING ASSHOLE!!!!" He slams down the phone.

Sorry for the language... but like I said, true story. :-)

Monday, January 21, 2013


Arielle is feeling guilty for not spending a lot of time with Rick.

She comes downstairs to make dinner and is talking to Rick about things she'll be doing this week, feeling a bit like a horrible wife.

Rick mentions that his friend Stan called.

Arielle: "Does Stan think I'm a horrible wife?"

Rick: "Everyone knows you're a horrible wife. I have a blog called 'My Horrible Wife.'"


Wednesday, November 7, 2012


It is election day and Arielle is preparing to vote. She is going off on tangents about women fighting for the right to vote and how she won't take it for granted.

Arielle: "Do you realize that 100 years ago, women weren't even allowed to vote?"

Rick: "Ah, the good old days."



Rick and Arielle are discussing shows waiting on the DVR. Rick hates most of the ones Arielle watches.

Rick mocks Project Runway for a while.

Arielle: "I have to watch Glee too."
Rick (with mock enthusiasm and a big grin): "I think they should just COMBINE Glee and Project Runway!"


Friday, August 10, 2012


Arielle calls to order Chinese food, gives her order, repeats it a couple of times.

She hangs up the phone and says: "Literally, that was a 10 year old. I was talking to a 10 year old."

Rick: "He's probably saying the same thing about you right now."