Selective

Being the loving wife she is, Arielle is at the hairdresser with Rick to wait for him while he gets a haircut.

Arielle is flipping through a magazine with Rick next to her while she waits for Rick to get called back for his appointment.

Arielle: "Look - they're making a big deal out of Taylor Swift dating Jake Gyllenhal because of their 9 year age difference. 9 years. She's turning 21 and he's 30. Who cares! 9 years! That's nothing!"

Rick (agreeing): "That is nothing."

Arielle: "I guess they're making a big deal out of it because Taylor Swift is so young."

Rick (with a satisfied grin on his face): "Gotta get while the gettin's good."

 

Christmas-y

Arielle: "I know something you can get me for Christmas."

Rick: "What's that?"

Arielle: "You might not like it. It's...shoes." (Like she needs another pair of shoes.)

Rick (tentatively): "Okay..."

Arielle: "Here, I'll show you." She proceeds to show him the TOMS website* online, raves about TOMS shoes for 5 minutes, and points to the exact pair she desires.

Arielle (happily pointing to the banner on their website): "And see, for every pair of shoes you buy, they give a pair to a child in need."

Rick: "Well that just tells me they're overpriced. I'm buying a pair of shoes for you and a pair for someone else!"



(*Check out their site. Awesome, stylish, SUPER TRENDY, comfy shoes with a great cause behind it!)

Compassionate

Earlier in the day when Arielle was expressing anxiety about something, Rick was unsympathetic.

Arielle called for some compassion.

Rick: "I don't have compassion. I have logic."

Arielle expressed her need for compassion in a husband and when Rick did not "lower" himself to be more compassionate, Arielle mockingly told him that he was "devoid of compassion."

Later that night, when Arielle's brother and his wife were over for dinner, Arielle laughingly told them how Rick was devoid of compassion.

Rick (interrupting): "Dear, how long have we been together?"

Arielle: "Uh...4 years --"

Rick (cutting her off and nodding demonstratively): "I have LOTS of compassion."

 

Complimentary

After a tiring weekend away for Jen's wedding, a sweaty night of dancing, and a long sleep, Arielle wakes up at 11:30 AM.

A couple of hours later, she comes downstairs, looking more presentable, ready to leave the house to do some errands.

Rick hugs her and holds her back at arms length to look at her. "It's amazing what a little makeup can do," he says.

 

Hopeful

Rick: "I hope you're not as annoying to your co-workers as you are to me."
 
  
  

Practical

Arielle and Rick have just finished watching the film The Young Victoria.

In case you didn't know (and this gives away NONE of the movie), Queen Victoria and her husband had a great love and after he died, she still laid out his clothes every day for the next 40 years until she died.

Arielle (lovingly): "Aw, after you die, I'm going to lay out your clothes every day."

Rick: "Why don't you lay them out while I'm alive? At least that way I'll get some benefit out of it."
 
  

High-minded

Rick: "What are you going to do when I go to bed?"

Arielle: "Paint my toenails and watch Project Runway."

Rick stares at her blankly.

Arielle: "Is that okay?"

Rick (clearly disgusted): "It's your life."

 
  

Accustomed

Arielle (apologizing for a meal that's a bit dry): "Sorry I cooked the chicken too long, baby."

Rick: "I'm used to it, dear."
 
  

Passionate

There is a commercial break during Sunday night football.

A Schick razor commercial comes on. It is advertising a new 5 blade razor for men.

Rick (suddenly yelling in an agitated manner): "Look at this! You see this? Look at this! Five blades now! Five blades! It used to be ONE blade. Then it was two, three - now it's FIVE. What're we gonna have in the future - like 37? Thirty-seven blades!"

Picture lots of eye rolling and exasperated shakes of the head.

And he says I have PMS.
  
   
  

Enlightened

Rick is going to bed.

Arielle is off to do grad school work.

Rick tells her to come to bed early.

Arielle expresses her dislike of this suggestion.

Rick shakes his head at her like she doesn't know what's good for her.

Arielle: "What's the matter with you?"

Rick: "I'm finding out how dumb you really are."

 
 

Creative

Rick and Arielle are in a hotel room in Baltimore. Arielle is talking and talking, nagging at Rick for something.

Rick (interrupting): "Hey, where's that remote?"

Arielle: "Here." She picks it up off the bedside table and hands it to him.

Silence follows and Arielle keeps talking, while looking down at her phone and some text messages. She suddenly notices that nothing has been turned on. She looks up at Rick and he is pointing the remote at her, clicking the on/off button.

Rick (smirking like the ass that he is): "It's not working."

   
    
 

Confined

Arielle is looking at a People magazine - specifically an article about Hugh Hefner and his Playboy bunny girlfriend who left the mansion.

Arielle: "So really it's like being a captive to live at the Playboy mansion. You have to say everywhere you're going and sign in and out at night. It's like being a captive!"

Rick: "So...it's kind of like being a husband."
  
  
  

Accepting

Rick and Arielle are watching The Other Boleyn Girl.

Towards the beginning of the film, the family of is trying to have their young daughter catch the King's eye so that he will bed her, make her his mistress, bear him an heir, and thus keep her family wealthy and in good standing.

Arielle comments on the unfairness/sadness of this 16th century situation.

Rick (clearly finding nothing wrong with the plot whatsoever): "What else is she gonna do with her life? Go to college?"

Objective

Rick is driving and passes (with a bit of road rage) a car that has no idea what it's doing.

Rick: "She's from Jersey, she's driving a Prius, and she's a woman! That's 3 strikes against her!"



A Disclaimer: Rick does not hate women or those from New Jersey, but if you couple those 2 things with the act of driving, he becomes even more ass-like than usual.

Delighted

Arielle and Rick have just finished watching Miller's Crossing.

Rick: "That's a good movie."

Arielle: "Yeah. But except for Marcia Gay Harden, there were no women in it."

Rick (with a look that seems to say, 'Exactly,' his opinion solidified): "That's a good movie."

There is a long pause while Arielle looks at him, the ass-like smirk never leaving his face.

Rick (indicating what should be): "No beach volleyball, then no women."
  
   
  

Afflicted

Rick and Arielle arrive together at work, get out of the car, and begin walking into the building.

Arielle is quite cranky.

Rick makes an ass-like comment about said crankiness.

Arielle: "Well I have PMS!"

Rick: "PMS already?!"

Arielle: "It's PRE MENSTRUAL SYNDROME. That's what it stands for."

Rick rolls his eyes.

Arielle: "Well at least I have an excuse. What's yours?"

Rick (in that infuriatingly sarcastic tone): "I have PASD - Post Arielle Stress Disorder."

 
 

Inventive

There are few things in this world Rick hates more than Arielle's cell phone.

She gets a lot of calls and texts on a daily basis, but so as not to annoy her husband, while at home in the evenings, she keeps her phone on vibrate. In fact, she usually lets her phone vibrate away, just peeping at it from time to time and responding to only the most important of calls or texts.

Yet, even the sound of her phone vibrating annoys Rick. He not-so-lovingly calls it "the train" when it vrrrrrr vrrrrrr vrrrrrrrrs and shakes the side table.

Tonight, Rick threw a glance at her phone and said with disdain, "They should have a setting on your phone that when it's on silent and you get a call, it stops your heart. That way you know when you have a call."

Discerning

One from the archives...


Arielle (pointing to her wrist): "It's a bracelet to stop violence against women."

Rick (in a deadpan, chauvinistic, ass-like tone): "Oh, so you wear it and the violence just stops?"
  
  
 

Carefree

Arielle and Rick are out driving through some crazy rain. Rick is driving (too) fast and slides in the rain around a curve.
He gasps loudly as he struggles to get the car under control.

"Whoa!!!.............Cambridge," Rick says nonchalantly, referring to a child care center they just passed, pointing out scenery to his wife as they slip and slide, as though nothing has happened.

Arielle (annoyed): "Do you have the effing cruise control on?"

Rick: "I'm always on cruise control, dear."
 
  
 

Humbling

Arielle: "This is the quickest I've ever gotten dressed in the morning after waking up!"

Rick: "I wouldn't brag about that."
  
  

Attentive

I believe Arielle was talking about LOST or some other passionately loved topic...

Arielle is talking and talking... she trails off...

Arielle (excitedly): "I could write like a whole paper about that!"

Rick (nods his head vigorously, a sarcastic tone blooming): "I should've just taken dictation - you'd already have a paper."
  
  

Shocked

Discussing her MSW degree...


Arielle: "I have to take Statistics."

Rick stares at her dumbfounded.

Rick: "Are you serious?"

Arielle: "Yeah."

Rick: "Statistics?! Statistics to graduate?"

Arielle: "Yes. I know, I'm gonna be horrible at it." (She was an English major.)

Rick (in a deadly serious tone): "Well hopefully Statistics for Morons."
  
  
 

Considerate

One of my personal favorites (from the archives)...

Arielle is sleeping on the recliner chair.
Rick is watching football.

Suddenly, Rick screams, "FUMBLE!!!!!!!" at the top of his lungs.
Arielle darts up, jolted awake.

Rick looks at her.
"Oh...sorry," he whispers very quietly.
  
  
 

Fearless

Preface - Arielle is allergic to multiple fruits and nuts.


Rick: "Can you eat cashews?"

Arielle: "Well, I don't. Since I don't really know if I'm allergic to them."

Rick: "Well, eat one tonight. See if you die."
  
  
 

Resigned

Arielle hugs Rick because he is not feeling well.

Arielle: "Aw maybe you're fighting something off."

Rick (with no hint of positivity): "Yeah - death."
  
   
 

Honest

One from the archives...




Arielle: "I hope you will like my book."
Rick: "I'm sure I will like it more than your hat."

 
    
And another...




Arielle comes upstairs after working out.
Rick hugs her.
Arielle: "You don't want to touch me; I'm sweaty."
Rick (as he pushes her away, making a face): "You're right! - I don't!"
  
  

Helpful

On the way home from work today, Rick is driving as usual. In a lefthand turning lane, we stop at a light...a green light. There are about 3 cars ahead of us and the car at the front of the line is not turning. There are no cars coming from the other direction.

Rick, without hesitation, slams his hand down on the horn and holds it there.

Me (trying to get him to ease up and chill out): "Oh come on, come on."

The car at the front of the line finally turns as Rick rolls his eyes.

Me: "Aww, he's probably an old guy. Look at the car he's driving."

Rick (ass-like tone at full capacity): "Well, that's why I'm helping him."